Go ahead. Treat yourself.
Well hello, Rockefeller
I take consideration in the form of cash or Bitcoin only. If you're new to cryptocurrency, follow these few simple steps to turn yourself into a veritable blockchain wizard.
I reserve the right to ask for a 25% deposit at my discretion if we have not met before. All deposits may be sent electronically but must clear before our date starts.
Take me anywhere! (yes, even Africa) My vacation is your vacation, your city is my city, and I'll be damned if I don't love trying your favorite restaurant. Please, leave me to Google Maps' mercy and I guarantee you'll find every tourist mistake I make in your hometown simply adorable.
Before venturing off into the wide world together, I will need a deposit of 25% of our time together plus all travel expenses.
Sometimes what you need is exactly what can't be contained in a single date. If we've had such amazing chemistry that you need some in your every-day instead of every-once-in-a-while life, let's talk. Chances are I'm just as into you!
(Psst. These are the details. Care about them.)
Introductions containing my requested screening information, the date/times you are available, and a bit about yourself start everything off on the right foot.
Screening, both the presence of it at all and my preferred form of it, is not up for debate. It is for my safety as well as yours, and if you cannot respect that, then I'm afraid we simply aren't compatible. I have a very convenient (really, idiot-proof) form in my booking section that you may fill out.
Consideration should be placed in an unsealed envelope and made available within the first few moments of meeting. If we are out on the town, please slip it into my purse or provide it in a gift bag or a favorite piece of literature (add to my library!). If we are relaxing privately, please leave it on a counter within my sight upon entering, before you go rinse the dust of the city off of your hands.
Relax a little upon seeing me. Allow for a few moments for us to get to know each other. Playful banter really gets me in the mood, what can I say?
Punctuality is important. I understand traffic in NY is quite the fickle creature, but please at least keep me apprised of your ETA if you are running behind. While I aspire to be as gracious and forgiving as possible, I am also quite the busy bee. To that end, if you must cancel within 24 hours of our date, I will ask for 25% of our original scheduled time together, sent electronically . Of course, if I have taken a deposit and need to cancel (which has yet to happen), you will immediately receive it back in whatever form you sent it.
Travel is exciting! If I am joining you on a multi-day trip, I will need 7 hours of unconscious plus a latte to be at my sparkly, shiny best for you. Additionally, I take an hour in the morning and a half hour in the evening to maintain myself. If there's a gym around, you will be more than welcome to join me during my daily workout and totally encouraged to ogle me in my leggings. Extra points if you help me stretch my splits.
Hygiene should go without saying. Freshly showered skin, clean hands, and minty breath are all very attractive qualities in a person.
Above all, Treat our time together as I will - inherently unique, unrushed, and deliciously exciting.